SorryI slept with the worry and woke with doubt.I remembered all the things I never said,All the things I've done wrong were whispering in my head.I'm sorry I hurt you,I'm sorry I said those things.I'm so, so sorry I cry.I'm sorry I lie.I'm sorry I'm lazyI'm sorry I disappoint you.I'm so, so sorry I'm me.I'm sorry I'm not what I could be.I'm sorry I'm a sinner.I'm sorry I failed.I'm so, so sorry I let you down.I'm sorry I don't say anything, not a sound.I'm sorry I didn't listen.I'm sorry I fall.I'm so, so sorry I hate.I'm sorry I always run away.I'm sorry I don't say enough.I'm sorry I'm not doing better.I'm so, so sorry for everything.I'm sorry I didn't see what this would bring.I'm sorry, just so sorry.I'm sorry, I'm such a mess.I'm so, so sorry I'm me.I'm sorry I just didn't see.I'm sorry, just so sorry.
Frame ItTake a picture of this memory, right here, this moment.Frame it, wrap it up and hang it on the wall of my mind's favourite space.Take a picture of you right here, right now, this moment.Hold your breath and close your eyes till the flash goes off.I'll capture this all on film, this perfect place and time,As each I develop in the dark, I'll remember the light in your eyes.Don't move yet, or say a word, dream if you wish,You don't have to reassure me you're awake,I'll take a photo of you here with me and smile while you sleep.Breathe in, breathe out, I am going to record the sound of you alive,The voice of every movement you make pressed flat against the grass,And the music of absolutely nothing filling our world.Smile for the camera, I will steal this piece of us and hide it away,Frame it, wrap it up and hang it on our wall.
It's like letting go of a hand,Tripping over the ground,Falling through the ceiling,Or having a nightmare when you're wide-awake.But mostly
It's just like learning to breathe all over again,Teaching the heart to beat a different tune,Landing in the sky,Or rewiring my brain.The whole thing's akin to
Breaking a window to better-see the view,A phoenix's death for life,Or five steps back for six forward.Or letting go of the hand holding you,So you can learn to walk away.
Miss YouMiss you, miss you, miss you, miss you.Like a:Hole in my chest,Gap of the soul,Gnawing in my gut.Feels like:Struggling to remember,Gripping vapour,Holding my breath for too long.Miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you.With:Every step,Thoughtand verb.When I:Move,Seeand breathe.Miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you.I don't:Know what to do with these hands,Where to look with these eyes,How to act with this mind.I want to:Tell you:I:Miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you.
Promise Me...If and when you do it, use a dagger in the heart.Make it quick and clean, in then out; and promise you won't forget to stare me in the eyes before they close.
SymptomsEating me up inside,It twists and rolls.Rubber balls hitting the floorKeeping pace with my heart.The knife wings of butterfliesSlicing me apart.How does the antidote for this,Bring the symptoms?